Love, before and after.

He sees her,
before she even knew him.

His eyes,
are like laser beams seeing through her.
Every inch of her.

Scanning,
knowing,
absorbing.
He loves her,
before she even knows what love really is.

His heart is so open she tests the space with every curse she throws at him,
testing him,
trying to move him,
further and further away from her.

He pulls her back.
Like an elastic band snapping on your skin.
He refuses to believe her.

Screaming,
Yelling,
Criticizing,
Every little part of him.
They bounce off him.
Like little kids on a trampoline.

That is what her words are to him,
kids
on a trampoline.

Small,
Childlike,
Innocent.



His hair so beautiful, so brown.
She runs her hand through them, not understanding how her heart can be so heavy and full.
So full,
of him.

His face burned so deep, she doesn't even need to close her eyes to look at him.
He's there,
He's always there.

An arms length,
a word,
a breath away.

Always there, he knows her like he knows the inside of his own mind. Her soul lays bare  to him.
She is open, finally, just like him.




Love is  mirage, It doesn't really exist. It gives you the illusion of being free,
Satisfied,
Complete.

Yet you are living in absolute dependency.

You can't breathe,
as if your lungs are dwelling in your lovers body.
You can't sleep,
Your muscles are no longer controlled by you brain.
You can't eat,
Food isn't what you crave anymore.

You are a parasite, feeding your soul by another soul.

Love is like an LSD trip that wont wear off as long as your lover is close,
Taking you on journeys that peregrinate from the revelations of your hearts and minds.

No, Love is not real.
It feels like a dream,
and just like in dreams, nothing bad really ever happens.

You always wake up,
just as you're about to fall.
You are jolted,
just as the monster is about to grip you.
Just like in Love, nothing bad really ever happens.

You are just fairy tales constructed in each others minds,
You aren't real,
until,
Everything is over.
You never realize the monster living in your lover,
until,
you fall,
your trip is coming down,
wearing off.

Love is not real. Its a drug,
So conveniently disguising its elusive charms,
letting and enchanting the unsuspecting naivete living in all of our hears.

Enthralling,
affixing,
addictive,
Unrelenting.
We always want more. One taste just isn't enough.

Hello's and Goodbye's, all in a days work.

Today, I met a friend I hadn't met in six years. We didn't meet, speak, or even Facebook since the last three of the six years, no, not even Skype. Six years is a long time. He was in another country, living a different life, one that was very different from the one we knew each other in. We were a group of kids who knew each other since we were about 12 until our late teens, and then, life happened. As it usually does.

Its not like I was particularly close to this friend, we were as close as 2 people in a group can get. Yeah, we had inside jokes, LOTS of stories, but nothing that made our bond any stronger than the others. Yet, when you meet a friend who knew you when you were another version of yourself, before life happened to either one of you, before you become a person that now knows that we are made of 70% water because EVERYTHING in life is fluid, you feel a kind of joy that only good memories and sweet nostalgia can bring.

I am like a turtle. I constantly have a hard shell to protect the vulnerability that I hold ever so close. I do not let people in easy, but once they're in, I don't let them go. I have, time and again, caught myself, ever so subtly, living in my mind, rather than in my world. Off wandering in the meandering visuals that my consciousness can think up, and in these moments, I am always thinking of those people I hold close.

I like to believe they know who they are, after all, there are only a handful. I love easily. Although, I can not for the life of me understand how to express it effectively. Let this be a testimonial, to all those who are my near, dear, close, treasured and forever living in my heart. I might not keep in touch, I might not call you. Just know, I think of you, in times when I escape the world, to go live in my thoughts, just for a moment. You are the ones that decorate my happy place.

I am saying Goodbye, albeit just for a while, to another such friend tomorrow. Life is funny, re-unions and goodbyes must come together.


Sometimes, when I feel enlightened by my own insights, I curse at my lack of ability to emotionally express my self in person. I feel close to these people, but they don't know it. I think they do though. Sometimes actions speak louder than words, but feelings are felt the loudest. Vibes, resonate. Its pure energy.